And then it happened.
He comes in the front door, says hi, gives me a kiss on the cheek, plops down on the couch and numbs out on his phone. My blood pressure skyrocketed in about 1.2 seconds and I was mad … furious! … and ready to throw my homemade cornbread at him. Doesn’t he know how hard I worked to clean our home? Doesn’t he get that I’m exhausted and would love to be on my phone too? I even cooked and I hate cooking. Is he even going to notice that I set the mood just perfectly so that we could connect and have a romantic dinner which will probably lead into sex… the thing he wants all the time?
I’m not saying that men are lazy, because that’s far from the truth, but what I am saying is that women often feel like their husband doesn’t appreciate all that they do.
Focus on his positives
If you see dirty dishes in the sink, your mind will start a downward spiral of all the other ways he hasn’t helped you around the house. Instead, focus on what he does do. Turn those negative thought stories into positive ones. Make a list of things you love and appreciate about him. For bonus points, share the list with him and then say, “Thank you.”
Recognize that you have different expectations
I expect the house to be a certain way but that doesn’t mean he has the same expectations. It’s okay and even normal to have different expectations when it comes to the house, communication, the kids, and even sex. You’re two different people with different backgrounds, talents, opinions, and personalities.
Work on yourself
Every wife I’ve ever coached has admitted that they give everyone else their firsts and rarely, if ever, make time for themselves. This is a dangerous place to be. A healthy woman makes a happy wife, and a patient mom, and a loyal friend, and is an inspiration to her community.
Some ways to invest in yourself:
Have a spa day
Yep, my answer to many of my problems. Spending an entire day or even a half day at a spa forces you to relax, rest, recharge, and clear your mind. Often times you can get a day pass and skip out on the massage/facial and enjoy the amenities the spa has to offer.
Three times a year we host an online women’s group called A Beautiful Mess. Those who join will have dedicated life coaches that will encourage you, hold you accountable, check in on you and your progress, and always love and accept the messy you. This group is for women that want to forgive from wounds of the past, have a safe place to be messy and authentic without judgment, and who want to find that balance in life. Learn more about A Beautiful Mess here.
Take a walk
Ladies, I want to hear from you. What are some ways that you invest in yourself to make sure that you’re happy and healthy? Comment below to inspire more women!
Written by Meygan Caston
Meygan Caston is the co-founder of Marriage365 and lives in sunny Southern California with her husband Casey, their two children and dog Hobie. She loves her family, the beach, writing, spa days and helping couples connect in their marriage. Her life long dream is to live with the Amish for a month, walk the Camino and have lunch with Brené Brown.