We are creatures of routine and can often find ourselves stuck in these bad cycles of either fighting, being too busy, or not having the right expectations. The only way to create new habits to build a stronger connection in your marriage is to become proACTIVE.

Here are 7 ACTIONS you can take to build healthy habits in your marriage:

…And we promise you’ll see results if you stick to them.

Cultivate Positivity.

Maybe your spouse says something critical, something off handed that doesn’t quite land the right way. Our natural response is to retaliate or shut down. This can easily put couples in a toxic cycle of tit for tat. Trust us, we ran on that treadmill for years.

ACTION: You can actually stop these tiffs in their tracks by simply reminding yourself of the amazing qualities of your spouse. Jot them down on a post-it, your phone, or somewhere handy and pull them out as a reminder that you’re on the same team.


Compliment Often.

It’s not enough to know how much you might love your spouse, you need to communicate that as often as possible. Words are extremely powerful.

ACTION: Practice The 60 Second Blessing. Simply take 60 seconds each and share all the wonderful characteristics of your spouse. This can be done over the phone, via text, or through notes, but it’s most powerful when done in person. Come on…who doesn’t have 2 minutes a day?


Dream Together.

Couples who stop sharing common goals together often drift apart and become more like roommates than lovers. You must cultivate a sense of excitement and anticipation about the future, which helps carry you through those dry seasons.

ACTION: Research your next vacation as a couple together. Find a destination that you both want to go to and find some common activities you want to enjoy (if you know what I mean).


Own Your Mistakes.

We are constantly making mistakes and fail to deliver on our promises. When you apologize, it shows that you are willing to take responsibility for your actions in the marriage.

ACTION: Ask your spouse frequently if there is anything you need to apologize for in the relationship. This gives opportunities to face conflict when you are not in the heat of the moment.


Pray together.

There is power in prayer as it is the practice of the presence of God. It is the place where pride is abandoned and hope is lifted. And when couples do this together, they simply become unstoppable in all that they do.

ACTION: There’s nothing formal about our times of prayer. When we talk to God, we find ourselves offering thanks for what we have and offering requests of protection over those we know. We find ways to also pray over each other based on what we’ve shared throughout the day.


Date Nights.

Yup, you guessed it. Our go to cure for 100% of couples we coach. Date nights are about rekindling the romance and friendship by building emotional intimacy.

ACTION: Take action now! Mark your calendar for your next date night. No talking about the kids or your money. Use our date night questions here to spark great conversations.


Listen With Empathy.

None of us want to be fixed, judged, minimized or ignored while we’re sharing our thoughts and desires. Unless your spouse asks for your suggestions and help, they probably just want to be heard.

ACTION: Make eye contact and limit all distractions. Validate their emotions by restating what you just heard them share. Do your best to not interrupt and be fully present when they’re talking.


A thriving couple is not a perfect couple that comes together, but an imperfect couple that learns to enjoy each other’s differences, and works together every day to create something special.  A great marriage isn’t luck and doesn’t just happen, it requires effort and care to endure and evolve in ways that keep both partners fulfilled.


Next steps: If you desire a healthy marriage, we encourage you to sign up for a FREE 7 day trial to NAKED CONVERSATIONS and join the thousands of couples experiencing a safe place to connect and grow in their relationship.  Click here to learn more!


Written by Meygan Caston

Marriage365 Meygan Caston


Meygan Caston is the co-founder of Marriage365 and lives in sunny Southern California with her husband Casey, their two children and dog Hobie. She loves her family, the beach, writing, spa days and helping couples connect in their marriage. Her life long dream is to live with the Amish for a month, walk the Camino and have lunch with Brené Brown.


7 thoughts

  • David Puder

    I can always tell the difference when my wife is feeling connected or disconnected with me. And you’re right about being proactive to make her feel loved and cared for. Great reminder that while I’m imperfect, I can choose to love her each day with some of these action steps.

  • Mc Tomas

    I believe we are a happy couple only for one reason. I never do a arguement with my wife. I always support her as she is a teacher and I am a businessman. We aspecting a baby girl to the next year to fulfill our happy couple life. Please pray for us.

  • Tina

    This is some great advice, thanks for sharing!
    I was wondering though if I could get some advice on a reacuring topic in my marriage. My husband has an anger problem…and it’s one thing to take stuff out on me, but it’s another thing when our oldest son has to take it, he’s only 7. My husband will use name calling towards our son, even curse words. It’s so hurtful to see and hear and I have addressed this numerous times and have asked it to stop, but it doesn’t. Any advice on what I should do? Is this something that I should leave him for to protect my son? I’m so lost and confused and am in need of guidance

  • Aron

    I only see 6 actions. Am I crazy?

    1. Cultivate Positivity
    2. Compliment often
    3. Dream together
    4. Own your mistakes
    5. Pray together
    6. Date nights
    7. ????

  • Adam

    How does one have date nights when the kids are small. We have a 2 year old and a 1,5 month old baby. My wife is a really dedicated mother and rarely wants to leave the kids. How can we make date night a priority and how do I help my wife to see that it is important?

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