I think we often under estimate the power that words have in our marriage.  It’s amazing what a simple compliment can do to lighten the mood and grow love.  On the other hand, it’s even more amazing how a critical word can put a chill in the air and put distance between the two of you.

One of the turning points in our relationship was when we learned to leverage the power of speaking words of encouragement over each other.  It was so dramatic for us that we still keep this habit.

We call it the 60 Second Blessing and here’s how it works:

You begin by speaking 60 seconds of encouragement to your spouse. Once you’re finished, your spouse spends the next 60 seconds sharing what they love about you. It’s that simple!

Here’s what it sounds like in our marriage:

Casey |  Babe, I love you for everything that you are.  You are patient with me, forgiving of my faults, and so unconditional in your love.   I love how you stay fit and eat healthy and encourage me to do the same.  I really appreciate my to-do lists.  I promise to change the lightbulb, tomorrow, really.  I enjoyed our weekend as a family and making memories, simply staying at home and taking a family walk.  You are so creative. I love that we get to work on building a dream together.  You are an amazing mother.

Meygan |  I love how hard you work to provide for this family.  Even though I know you are tired from working all day,  I love how when you come home you wrestle with the kids, cook dinner, help with bedtime, and manage enough energy to play Yahtzee with me.  Thank you for showing me so much grace when I mess up and being quick to forgive,.  Thank you for always finding ways to make me laugh.  I’m grateful for your authenticity and kindness you show me and so many other people.

Check out our video:


Here’s our Marriage365 Challenge:

Sit down with your spouse and try this out.  Watch how the power of your words will transform your marriage. If you find this helpful, we encourage you to do this at least 5 times a week.


If you found this blog post helpful, make sure to check out Naked Conversations (don’t worry, we’re fully clothed). Learn more and sign up for your free trial here!

6 thoughts

  • Kris

    I am reading through your book on communication and my wife and I started doing this, seemingly by sheer force of will, and it has revitalized our marriage. It was really hard at first but it is self reinforcing as it feels so great to give and recieve affirmations that you will want to do it. We have been doing it for a few weeks now and our marriage is happier than it has been in years. Thanks!

  • Kate

    Thanks for this suggestion! Going to try it here. My husband has a very stressful and difficult job in a very dark environment (his job even requires taking depression tests regularly) and while I try and build him up all the time, he never seems to hear it, or he twists my words.

    Praying that with something more intentional like this, he will be able to hear and keep in his heart. Thank you!

  • Shannon

    How does one even begin this when there is so much damage and the struggle to find anything positive to say about the other person is so overwhelming? And it’s impossible to believe anything he says and he has openly admitted that he is at a point where he will say whatever he thinks I want to hear just to achieve “peace”.

    • Caroline Sonnichsen

      Shannon, your post here wad from a few years ago so i hope this will find you. I pray Hod has given you the strength to have stsyed committed to marriage. I’m a new comer to Marriage365 and loooove the information/posts. I was in a same place as you (trying to find something positive to say) but after i attended a weekend retreat for troubled marriages, that changed. It didn’t “fix” our marriage but it did help phenomenally. Retrouvaille.org is a local community based group of couples who are at all different stages of healing. They hold monthly gatherings to learn about how to heal and grow. It starts with a weekend retreat. Very powerful to get you moving in the right direction. Just a suggestion to use this WITH MARRIAGE365. You’ll need the daily posts from 365 to keep you going daily. Awesome site, so glad i found it but… I think you could really benefit from retrouvaille.org

  • Jeimy

    Such a sweet and loving video. I loved seeing you both pour so much love on each other, wow. It is beautiful to have this kinda love. I don’t know how we can go from talking so negatively to each other to this.

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