Ladies, listen up! I have absolutely zero control of Casey and what he does in our marriage. I mean, at some level I can have a positive or negative influence with my choices and attitude, but overall, the only thing I can work on is myself. We often say, “If you want to build a better marriage, build a better you.” I’m always working on how I can be more spontaneous, a more loyal friend, and a safer place for my husband. I have to rest my head on my pillow each night and be ok with how I treated Casey throughout the day.
This is important so write this down! Your man wants you to be on his side. Find a way to let your husband know that you’re in his corner. You might show your loyalty by standing up for your guy when he feels the world is against him. This adds a sense of teamwork, security, and intimacy to your relationship. Here are 5 specific things that all men want from their wife (and I’m constantly working on all of these myself).
Stop the Nagging
Men hate a woman who nags. And you know why? They feel like they’re 7 years old again being scolded by their mom. And for some reason, we like to point our what he did wrong or didn’t do good enough, even though he was trying his best to help us out. Instead of ranting and raving about them leaving their wet towel on the floor for the hundredth time this week, suck it up, bite your tongue and pick it up yourself. This one’s a hard one for me personally, but I notice that when I stop the nagging, I get more respect from Casey. Find more effective ways to communicate your needs and sometimes you need to ask yourself, “Should I let this go?”
Show him respect
Research has proven time and time again that a man wants to feel respected by his wife. Men physically and emotionally cannot connect to a woman who disrespects him. Men gravitate to places where they get the most respect, and they run from places where they feel disrespected. Men are terrified of dishonor. Men who are honored and respected at home tend to live up to their wives’ expectations. Show him that you value what he values and let him know you support what he’s passionate about.
For those of you who are like me, where I’m only really in the mood every once in awhile, you need to make it a priority to initiate sex with your husband. Put a reminder on your phone. Ask a girlfriend to keep you accountable. Prepare the bedroom with candles, slip into some lingerie, and shave your legs! If you’re not in the mood, think about giving him oral sex or manual stimulation to please him. And it’s not just sex. Make an effort to show some physical affection towards him consistently by holding his hand, giving him a back rub and reaching for his leg.
Flirt with him during the day
Husbands want to know that they still have it and that they’re on your mind. Flirting with him throughout the day makes him feel desired, sexy, and loved. Send flirty texts, write love notes and stuff them in his lunchbox or briefcase, or make a surprise visit at his office with a his favorite coffee drink. If you’re around the house, squeeze his butt, invite him to join you in the shower, play footsies at the dinner table. We did all of these gestures when we were dating so don’t let it stop now that you’re married.
Give him time to unwind
All men deal with stress differently but the pressures that our society put on husbands and dads can be unbearable. Give your man time to unwind after work and on the weekends. Encourage him to spend time by himself or with friends so he can unwind, relax, unplug and rest. Find out what recharges him and allow him to unwind so he can be his best for you.
Point out his strengths
Did you know that many husband’s love language is Words of Affirmation? Most people assume it’s physical touch, and while that one is popular amongst men too, husbands want to be told positive things about them. Speak words of affirmation and love to them daily. Start incorporating the 60 Second Blessing in your marriage. If he’s good in bed, tell him. If’s he an amazing father to your littles, thank him for being an involved dad. Bonus points: Bragging about your husband in public can also be a great way to encourage him and make him feel loved.
I know that most of you can work on at least one of these ideas above. Don’t assume your husband won’t notice or appreciate it. Just do it! I challenge all of you awesome wives to pick one, comment below and let me know which one you are choosing to work on and I will write back in a week asking you how it went. I am personally choosing to initiate sex more.
Meygan Caston | Wife
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