Hollywood paints the picture that women want diamonds and roses, but in reality, these 3 things might be worth their weight in gold.

1. Positivity

Cynicism and sarcasm have their place, but nobody wants to be with someone who is sarcastic and cynical all of the time. It’s exhausting. Being in the presence of someone with a positive outlook on life can actually be energizing. An optimistic husband makes his wife feel good and that positivity is contagious, even inspiring.

2. Security

A woman will feel safe with a man who is emotionally available, honest, trustworthy, and authentic. These are emotional character strengths she can respect and admire in her husband. A man of character and emotional depth is a man who knows who he is and likes himself.  His strength is not physical so much as it is in the clarity of his mind and emotions. These are character strengths that a wife not only admires, but feels safe with. He is not a weak man that will bend to the whims of other people. She can trust him to be who he is.

3. Appreciation

All women want to feel appreciated. Women manage a lot on a day to day basis and don’t get a lot of credit. A statement such as, “Hey babe, thanks for making dinner tonight. I really appreciate it,” shows  consideration and shows you don’t take  your wife for granted. An honest thank you is worth a thousand words.  Remember that your words are life giving to those around you.

Stay tuned for the 3 things men want from their wife!

 Marriage365 Challenge

For you women… if your husband has complimented you, made you feel secure, bragged about you in front of others,  or has been positive at some point in the last few weeks, make sure you tell him how much you appreciated it.  Men like compliments and affirmations too.

For you men… pick one area from the 3 points above and make an action plan on how to implement these in your marriage. A few ideas: thank your wife for making dinner. Wrap your arms around her and make her feel safe. If you’ve had a bad day at work, come home, vent for 2 minutes and then move on and don’t allow your bad mood to ruin your evening together.

 Our Story

Positivity, Security, and Affirmation were not present in our own marriage for many years. We were headed for divorce by our third year, buried in over $200k worth of debt, fighting all the time, and ready to escape it all. To hear more how our relationship changed dramatically and what we did about it, click here and check out our story.


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13 thoughts

  • Marah Cadena

    I completely agree with this. In fact, these are key issues in my marriage. I have spent so much time feeling unwanted, unloved, and unappreciated that I had all but given up. I stopped doing all the little things that I used to do for my husband. I felt as though I was completely invisible, and that all of my effort was unnoticed. My husband recently asked me why I didn’t get up with him and make him breakfast and lunch anymore. I finally told him that I felt like it wasn’t noticed or appreciated so I just stopped. He apologized for making me feel that way and promised to try. Less than a week later we were right back where we were. He hardly talks to me, he doesnt touch me, he doesn’t even seem to notice me… I am at a loss as to what I can do. He just isn’t the same man I fell in love with anymore… Someone please help me understand and help me figure out how to fix my marriage, before it is too late.

    • Casey Caston

      Marah… I’m so sorry to hear about what you are going. I would encourage you to find a good counselor to walk you guys through this next season. You and your marriage are certainly worth the investment of finding good help.

  • Smiley Bell

    Marah im sorry! if i could take that emptiness away that you feel i would, but i cant because i need someone to save me. I think your husband and my husband are related. My husband makes me feel ordinary, he use it make me feel special but i think between losing my job, the children, and bills loving on me or just noticing me is not important. Im embarrassed to say that our sex life is none existent and we have only been married a year an 4 months. Im tired he want pray with me or go to church with me, we want go to counseling, and his brother knows everything about our marriage. I’m not sure what to do anymore and communication is totally screwed. But i love him because i know the man i fell in love with is in their somewhere i just cant find him right now….any advice.

    • Casey Caston

      Smiley… I love the fact that you are engaged and seeking out ways to rebuild your marriage. I would love for you to sign up for our marriage coaching so we can get a better handle on what you are facing- the background music.

  • Kaitlyn

    What are ways we can politely discuss with our husbands what we need from them without it coming off as we are hounding them to change or they’re not good enough?

  • Bev

    My husband does none of the above as a matter of fact he acts like a little boy and I’m tired.I feel alone instead of complimenting me he criticizes me in front of acquaintances and im tired of fight im ready to get out and I rather be alone with Jesus then married with a selfish man like him.

    • Casey Caston

      Bev… I feel you and hear the pain. I will tell you that you have an opportunity to minister well to the heart of your husband through prayer and patience. Easy, no! Fair, no! But it’s part of the promise in your vows that you would love unconditionally, without taking account. It is love that never fails… and when you get to the end of yourself, ask your Jesus to give you the love you don’t have.

  • Ebenezer

    It is painful that a great relation/union in the past can suddenly turn into a hostile one. I believe if we go back to the basics of what the bible says about the role of the man and the woman and with commitment we will be fine

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