How many times have you heard someone say, “Men only want one thing and they want it 3 times a day.” We are referring to sex of course.  In all seriousness, men want so much more than sex. Hollywood has painted men to be sex fiends only wanting a girl for her body and nothing else.  Deep down inside a real man wants a best friend, a confidant, a lover, someone he can talk to and someone he can laugh and be playful with.

Ok ladies… here are 3 things men want from you!

1. Respect

Men thrive when they know that their wife trusts them, admires them and believes in them. A wife might show her loyalty by standing up for her man when he feels the world is against him. Let him know you support what he’s passionate about. Show him that you value what he values. This adds a sense of teamwork, security, and intimacy to your relationship.

2. Intimacy and Initiation

Husbands want more physical affection and touch from their wife — and not just sex. So cuddle up to him while you watch a show, give him a big hug and kiss hello, a back rub or some foreplay. Initiate sex! Make an effort to show some physical affection towards him consistently. Men want to be desired by their wives. Husbands want to know that their wife is sexually attracted to him and only has eyes for him. When a husband feels rejected sexually, he not only feels his wife is rejecting him physically, but that she is somehow rejecting him as a husband, provider and man. This is why making sex a priority in marriage is so incredibly important!

3.  Compliments

Husbands want to hear things like, “Thanks for taking out the trash,” and “I really appreciate how hard you work for our family.” Encourage his great work ethic and affirm him as much as possible, especially in front of your kids and friends. Be sure to point out the moments when your husband makes you laugh. It’s not always a man’s natural tendency to be creative and romantic.  So when your husband plans something special, appreciate him and his effort.

 Marriage365 Challenge

For you women… Pick one area from the 3 points above and make an action plan on how to implement these in your marriage. A few ideas are to stop what you’re doing when they get home from work and embrace him with a huge kiss and hug. Write a love note thanking him for all he does. Schedule a time for sex and make it a priority to go buy some new lingerie.

For you men… If your wife spoils you, cooks you dinner every night or watches football with you, THANK HER. Many women love to serve and support their husband but pay her a compliment and remind her how much you love her. Women will never get sick of hearing, “I am madly in love with you.”

Our Story

Respect, Intimacy, and Compliments were not apart of our game plan in marriage.  The result was that we were heading for a divorce by our third year, tallied over $200k worth of debt, and made it a regular habit to go to bed angry.  We got help, we put our plan in action and our turn around was so dramatic that others asked us what our secret was.  We uncover that plan through our regular webcasts called NAKED CONVERSATIONS. Learn more by clicking here.

If you found this blog post helpful, make sure to check out Naked Conversations (don’t worry, we’re fully clothed). Learn more and sign up for your free trial here!


20 thoughts

  • Veda Graves

    Wow this was an on time reading. I’ve been dealing with how to be satisfied with my husband despite the things he don’t do. I try to play fair but it gets hard. I’m asking for prayer and that God releases a new love in our marriage.

  • Amelia Mason

    Between my husband and me I make more money. My husband is not very good at expressing his feelings until they boil up and over flow. I know is upsets him to an extent that I make more than he does but won’t say it to me. How do I help my husband feel better about this?

    • Casey Caston

      Amelia… hard to solve this in a comment, but I know personally that it’s hard for us guys to NOT wrap our identity in what we do in the marketplace, including how much we make, which usually represents how valuable we are. Be sure to affirm in constantly for his efforts and be his cheerleader!

    • Andrew

      Wow I love you guys, keep up the great work.

      Amelia, sometimes we find it difficult sharing what we feel, I bet there’s a part of him that wants to share, hang in there.

      • Casey Caston

        We couldn’t agree more Andrew. Its hard for men, and some women, to express their emotions. Sometimes they have to learn how to, and other people take years to feel safe enough to express them.

    • Casey Caston

      So many times, men and women deal with pride. It’s a touchy subject because none of us want to admit we have it.
      Make him feel safe. Make him know you care and that you love him no matter how much or how little he makes. There was a time when Meygan was making way more than Casey and it was a tough pill to swallow. Men find their identity in their career. They shouldn’t…but they do!

  • Kelley Adams

    I appreciate your article overall. I did want to point out that current stats say that in more than 50% of American households, women are the primary bread winners. So when you say, under the Challenge section, that a wife should “welcome him home with a hug and a kiss…” Suggests that the wife is at home, while the husband works. This is probably not your focus here, but it is these subtle messages like this that continue to marginalize women.

    I hope you are able to accept with the spirit it is intended. ThNk you again for your work!

    • Casey Caston

      Thanks Kelley for your input. When we suggest that when a wife welcomes him home with a hug and a kiss, why would you assume that this means he’s coming from work? He could be coming home from the park with the kids, golfing, church, working out, surfing, etc. I would be careful not to jump to conclusions to assume a man would only be coming from work.

  • Charlene Bohannan Nielsen

    I appreciate your information on this subject, I needed this information my husband was feeling like I didn’t respect him and I didn’t understand what he was saying.

    • Casey Caston

      Thanks Charlene… I hope this helps guide a conversation that you both need to have regarding HOW to love one another. We all speak different love languages and it’s something that needs to be dialogued often. I’ve (Casey) found that simply asking, how can I show my love to you this week, spurs conversation about how I can support and encourage Meygan. We are not mind readers and need things clearly laid out. Happy talking!

  • Donna

    I came across your instagram page. Seriously i cant understand how all these little things can build up your marriage. Im going through a rough patch in mine ive been with my husband for 4 years and recently got married. I feel like i dont know what im doing. Thanks for the advise

    • Casey Caston

      Great marriages don’t happen by accident. You will have to daily choose love in your marriage, offering the best of yourself to your mate. After 11 years, I’m realizing that the little things actually are big. Keep up the great work and I’m so glad you are here!

    • Casey Caston

      Yes, the same goes for women. Julia, were you able to read our other blog post that was called “3 things women want from their husband?” We always address both men and women on our blog…but it very different ways since men and women are so different.

  • Robin

    Of all the love languages, I really like verbal affirmations from my wife best. When she gets specific about why she loves me and intentionally thanks me for even little things, I “melt”.

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